I was talking to a colleague a couple of days ago, and the topic of anger came up. The chat led us to dive deeper into the subject of this powerful emotion, discussing how that may manifest in our daily lives and what we can do to start managing it better. Let's explore this further. 

What is anger?

Anger is a natural and powerful emotion that we all experience from time to time. It is a response to perceived threats, injustices, or frustrations. However, it can sometimes get in the way of expressing ourselves fully and authentically. Understanding and managing it can improve your mental health, relationships and overall quality of life. 

Causes of anger

Being curious about the possible causes of your anger is a starting point in learning about yourself. Recognising where these emotions might be coming from. Here are some of the causes of anger that may lie behind it:

• Frustration

  When we face obstacles or things don't go as planned, it can lead to feelings of anger.

• Injustice

  Witnessing or experiencing unfair treatment, discrimination, or violations of our rights can trigger anger.

• Threats to self-esteem

  Criticism, humiliation, or feeling disrespected can provoke anger.

• Fear or pain

  Anger can be a defence mechanism when we feel threatened or when we're in physical or emotional pain.

• Unmet expectations

  When our expectations are not met, whether in relationships, work, or daily life, it can result in anger.

Can you think of a recent situation where these feelings have been coming up? Pay close attention to how that feels in your body and whether there might be an underlying cause of your anger. Be kind to yourself throughout this discovery process, as it may be more difficult than expected. 

Effects of anger

Anger can appear in many ways in our daily lives, impacting our overall quality of life. Below, I have listed some of the ways in which anger can affect our lives physically and emotionally. 

• Physiological responses

  Anger triggers the body's "fight-or-flight" response, leading to increased heart rate, blood pressure, and adrenaline release.

• Emotional impact

  Anger can cause irritability, frustration, resentment, or even rage.

• Relationship strain

  Uncontrolled anger can damage relationships and lead to poor communication, aggression, or withdrawal.

• Health consequences

  Chronic anger has been linked to increased stress, cardiovascular problems, weakened immune system, and mental health issues.

Managing and expressing anger

How can you start to manage and express your anger differently? 

• Recognise your triggers

  Identify the situations, events, or thoughts that tend to provoke your anger.

• Take a break 

  If you feel anger escalating, step away from the situation to cool down and gain perspective.

• Practice relaxation techniques

  Deep breathing, meditation, music listening, art making, or engaging in activities you enjoy can help reduce anger.

• Communication

  Express your anger assertively, using "I" statements to convey your feelings without attacking or blaming others.

• Problem-solving

  Instead of dwelling on the anger, focus on finding constructive solutions to the underlying issues.

• Seek support

  Discussing your anger with a trusted friend, family member, or professional can provide perspective and guidance.

How can counselling support anger?

It's important to note that while anger is a normal emotion, uncontrolled or excessive anger can negatively affect your well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life. If you find it challenging to control your anger or negatively impact your life, seeking support from a counsellor can be beneficial. 

Counselling can help you recognise your triggers and what might set you off for showing anger. Learning how to manage these can improve your mental health, your relationships and lead to a better quality of life. So, what is it that your anger is trying to tell you? 

If you're ready to explore it further, let's connect over a consultation session here, or email me at arulacounselling@proton.me. I look forward to hearing from you. 

Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes only. If you are suffering from severe trauma, live in an abusive household or are in danger, call 112 or your country's crisis line, where professional mental health workers can offer you appropriate support.